some sentences and some not

i don't have an airport, i.e., access to the internet, in my new computer at work. but i do have a spiffy new office. and more work to do. i think i liked the airport better. blogging is going to become more guerilla-style from now on. mostly from the ancient clamshell ibook at home. at odd hours.

i am addicted to writing. words. sentences. i've always kept a journal. ever since i got my first diary, with a key, when i was ten or so. i still have them all, too. it's not admirable, necessarily, this addiction. and it's almost physical, the pleasure of rolling precise sentences off the tongue. it is one of many worthwhile luxuries. ancient people believed that words had magical power.

riley parker

my 7 year old niece called me the other day. all by herself. her mom didnt say to or nothin'. she just wanted to talk to me. neato. i'm going to see her in mid july.

the reason

usually when i don't give money to a homeless person, it's not because i can't spare the money, it's because i can't spare the time to dig through my purse for change. that's my least favorite thing: looking for something in my purse. and that is why, in case you were wondering, i am always in such a bad mood when i answer the phone.

saladin's ethnicity

apparently saladin was a kurd. not an arab.

if i had time, and thought anyone would be inclined to read me at length on the matter, i would go on and on about kingdom of heaven.

one more thing, though, i think it contains the most idiotic aphorisms i have ever seen in one place, e.g., when the princess of jerusalem pays a booty call on balian, she explains, "i have come to you because: in the east, between people, there is only light."

kingdom of heaven

i saw kingdom of heaven yesterday. wow. what a lot of trouble to go through to make a movie about the crusades that couldn't be accused of arab-hating. it kind of begs the question: exactly why *did* you make a movie about the crusades, then, right about now, *sir* ridley scott? might it have had anything to do with the november 2001 meeting between bush administration officials--karl rove--and hollywood execs--rupert murdoch, i.e., fox, i.e., the studio that produced this movie? besides being convoluted, heavy-handed and just kind of stuck in there, kingdom of heaven's ersatz religious tolerance quite simply evaporates at the climax when the swarthy sarecens with gnashing teeth storm the christopher gate chanting "allah akhbar!" the hero of the film is of course an englishman who is fighting the arabs for the sake of the people of jerusalem; not, we are adamantly told, in the name of christianity. the film also manages somehow to celebrate the christian surrender of jerusalem to saladin as a victory.

that having been said, i loved this movie. i was so rooting for the underdog, and the jewelry was fantastic, and jeremy irons was good. (but why oh why did liam neeson have to be in this?)

pants

i've been taken to task by my friend, lori mocha ( www.lorimocha.blogspot.com ), and rightly so, for not posting. the short post thing only works if you post a lot. i had a deadline for my show on friday, so i was working like crazy--i even got in trouble with my boyfriend. ive also been walking the dog a lot because i look fat in most of the pictures from the catskills--i'm pretty sure my friend keli was using some kind of wide angle lens. also i have been trying to read more.

i know it's boring to care about my weight, but there you have it. it's hard not to care having grown up in this culture of ours. and i'm not going to go around pretending i don't care just to sound more enlightened. two years ago i broke up with my total dick of an exboyfriend and lost like twenty pounds. i enjoyed being thin. a ton. i have been happy, ecstatic, and therefore eating healthily since then: vegetables, wheat bread, chicken, chicken, chicken. and concurrently ive been steadliy regaining weight, i think probably mostly because i sit on my ass all day for my job and also i quit smoking a year ago. i kept 2 pairs of expensive pants from my "fat" days, "just in case". they fit me now.

anyways, i'm not going to sit around and brood about it. i am instead going to walk my dog a lot. which she is very pro. it was gorgeous out today, and she got a new pink polka-dotted collar and pink leash. if i had a fucking digital camera, you would know what it looked like right about now.

four thousand words

my friend keli took these.

lengths truism #1

being able to talk about democracy with precision makes it more likely that you will experience it. language can be power. practice it.

monsters

you know how when you're walking down the sidewalk and it's a coincidence and the group of people you just passed start whispering and then laughing? and you have to tell yourself like you did when you were a kid afraid of the dark that it's just your imagination, there's no such thing as monsters. and you kind of talk yourself down because that's what grown ups do. and eventually you stop getting get freaked out in the first place. that just happened to me on the way home from work today.

new plan

ok, my new plan is to become a dog travel reviewer. i am going to start a blog devoted to reviews of places in the catskills that allow dogs. and soon it will be so popular that the places will start letting me stay there for free.

first stop: the gateway lodge, this weekend.



places visited in the past: shangri-la at mountain gate lodge



i've stayed at mountain gate like 5 times. pros: 1.) it's at the end of a road that turns into a hiking trail right into the woods. 2.) the food at the indian restaurant is the best i've ever had, and i am not exaggerating. 3.) i can leave the door open and let the dog come and go as she pleases because it's on like 3 acres and there is no traffic on the road. cons: 1.) the rooms kind of smell like poo. and, well, do you really need any more cons than that?

so far

so far i have succeeded at almost everything i have attempted in my life. recently, upon noticing this tendency, i decided to choose more carefully the things that i want to accomplish from now on--not that i dont like most of the things ive done. just, if i'm going to do all that work, it might as well be exactly the greatest thing ever. also recently, i have developed a fascination with beekeeping and am having a rather elaborate fantasy wherein i own a bee and goat farm; i make cheese and honey and serve brunch on sundays. if i am not careful, this is precisely what i will be doing in five years. but that might be a good thing. i havent decided yet. i also might go to medical school. i also might be editing tv shows still.

my dog, mimi, is 70 pounds, which is the weight of maybe a a ten year old girl? when she leans her head on my chest, i feel like a mom. and that feels good.