why?

well, the subjects of our reality show came to the office to say hi to everyone. i said hi but then scurried back to my little hole. it was too surreal seeing them as real people. or something. i mean, they were actually really nice.

i think it's really that i can't socialize with the people in my office. i think that's it. i have a very hard time having conversations in which people arent saying exactly what they mean, which they often don't in an office setting. i think it's because i'm mildly autistic. autistic people have a hard time interpreting facial expressions and tone of voice. i'm always asking, "are you being sarcastic?" and of course the person i'm speaking to, if they are being sarcastic, is going to continue to be sarcastic and say no theyre not when they really are, and, you know what, i think i'll just go post on my blog.

in fact, i don't really think there's anything wrong with me at all. i think that most people just don't have anything worth saying and just talk a lot of crap all the time and i just can't stand it. the crap. on vacation with my parents recently, my dad responding to my constant impatience, with him and everyone else, said, "youre going to be surrounded by incompetence your entire life, you might as well calm down and start getting used to it." to which i replied (in my head weeks later) "if you had had my iq tested as a child and informed me that i was a genius then, i might not have had to struggle so hard my whole life to make sense of the world."